Listen, can you hear your heartbeat? What is it telling you? Is it beating slow as you are sitting down to read a book? Are you on the elliptical machine and maybe it is beating a little faster than it should. Maybe you saw your favorite person and it even skipped a beat or two.

Recently, I was on the phone in my office at work and a geico popped up unexpectedly from under my desk and it appeared on the wall in front of me, giving my heart a quick shock. I even left out a little scream of surprise, which may have caused my heart to stop for a second or two.

At night while lying in bed, if I listen closely I can hear my heart slowly winding down from the busyness of the day. Also while sitting quietly to meditate, I can hear my heart slow down with each breath that I take. In that silence, I know that my heart is listening to what my body is telling it, and reacting accordingly.

While thinking about this, it made me to wonder if I purposely had to engage my heart to really listen to someone else, and how often during the day is my heart truly engaged in the listening process. I guess that is where the phrase, “let’s have a heart to heart talk” comes from. Maybe, when you are not engaged, your heart is not really listening to all to the non essential chit chat of the day, or it could be that is just listening in a subconscious way.

I have found that listening is a life skill that is most valuable. In all of my career choices, I have found myself in the situation of resolving conflicts. Conflicts between businesses, conflicts between co-workers, conflicts between business and client. Not only do conflicts appear in your place of business, but most certainly they also take place in your own personal life. Conflicts happen between friends, family, neighbors and husbands and wives. Sometimes you may even get a scolding while out driving your car. Unfortunately nobody is going to escape a conflict free life, as much as you may try.

Personally, I do not like conflicts of any type. Being unavoidable, I have found when I am in one of those uncomfortable situations, that I must step out of my comfort zone and listening becomes my greatest tool.

Let’s face it, the majority of people when irritated have no problem expressing how they may feel, especially, when they feel that they have been wronged in some shape or form. Sometimes just listening to someone blow off steam is all that it takes for things to settle down. Tolerating those moments and emotions can be trying. However, everyone wants to feel like they have been heard. Maybe you aren’t able to come to an agreeable solution to the conflict, but just the act of letting the other person spew out their side of the story, is sometimes all it takes to resolve the issue. If you are listening from the heart it will be notable in your body language. Most people can feel and see whether you are listening, or you are mentally somewhere else and don’t give a hoot about the truth of the matter.

Most times, people are not listening because they have planned ahead or they are thinking about what they are going to say. Yes, that is fine to have bullet points that you may want to interject , however if you are going to listen from the heart, you may have to change your agenda. Too many times, it becomes more important to get in your two cents rather than to really listen to someone else.

I have spent a good deal of my life working on becoming a good listener. Almost to the point that I can verbally state what the other person is going to say before they even say it. It seems like I can intuitively express what they are feeling , and I firmly believe that it is a result of practicing how to listen from the heart.

Most of my career has been spent in some form of sales and marketing where listening is a necessity to find out the needs of the client in order to validate a purchase of a product. During training sessions throughout my career, I have spent hours upon hours of role playing addressing this specific topic. Have you ever had a salesperson who actually talked themselves out of a sale by talking too much? Too much talking and not enough listening is tiresome for most people. In most cases, the buyer gets frustrated and tired of listening and may even just walk away.

Every conversation, would be quite intense and draining if you spent each conversation with your heart totally immersed. Non essential day to day chit chat would be cumbersome. It does not mean that you are not listening or that you don’t mean it when you say, “ good morning”. Your intuition will tell you if you need to get your heart involved and really listen from the heart.

If you listen with your heart, your relationships will improve on all levels. Whether it is in a personal relationship or business settings, really listening will reward you by enriching your life. You may also be amazed at what listening from the heart will teach you. It may even save a relationship or two along the way.